With the increase of binge and underage drinking are we heading for problems of an epidemic scale? Is the fun and free living going to come back and haunt us in the not so distant future? Well it is certainly possible as diabetes, liver failure and so many other physical ailments can be helped along by bad drinking habits. So why are we experiencing problems like this in the twenty-first century – at the beginning of the information age – and more importantly, how can we change bad drinking habits or deal with alcoholism? Well let’s start by saying that binge drinking and alcoholism are two different subjects; however the first can lead quite easily into the latter.
There are some many reasons why more and more people today create bad habits of addictions around alcohol. It could be down to peer pressure, problems at home, depression or avoidance to name but a few. Drinking sometimes becomes a simply and easy escape for the drinker that just wants to feel different and maybe even just de-stress. At some point they usually start to realise that their answer is not in the bottom of a glass, however usually by this point the addiction has set in and taken its grip on its victim. Once the action has made itself at home it then just becomes so incredibly difficult for the sufferer to change the habit by themselves.
There are many ways for a person suffering at the hands of alcoholism to get the help that they so desperately need. In my clinic and trough my products I help people to beat their addiction with hypnosis and self hypnosis. I have found this to be a great approach as it deals with the part of your brain that we refer to as your sub-conscious mind. This is the part of your brain that holds all of the information about your habits, beliefs and the part that ultimately makes you… YOU! Hypnosis simply works to reprogram this part of your mind to get you the results that you both desire and deserve in an easy and straightforward way that is very empowering.
If you are suffering with an addiction to alcohol at the moment and would like to resolve it or just cut down, then my recommendation to you would be to start with a hypnosis download or maybe a self hypnosis book. If you are really serious about gaining control then start today! I wish you the best of luck and success.
Monday, 20 December 2010
Sunday, 19 December 2010
Alcohol Addiction — What Were You Up To Last Night?
Do you remember what you did last night? And the night before, and the night before that?
If you have mornings where you forget what you did the night before, it is time to take a serious look at your drinking habits.
Alcohol addiction could mean that you drink every day; or that you drink to excess every week; or that you feel you can't cope without alcohol. You don't have to be permanently drunk to be addicted.
Consider the effects that your drinking has at the moment. If you can honestly say that you hardly ever get drunk, you never do something you regret the next day, and you can cope without alcohol, then relax - you are out of the danger zone. But if your answer to any of these questions is "yes," then you could be on a slippery slope.
Alcohol addiction creeps up on people without warning. They believe that they have all the control, and feel, "It could never happen to me!" But, one day, they wake up realizing that they are out of control. The alcohol has taken over.
They think it's too late. They spiral into lack of self-respect, hurting their body, then their mind and spirit, and finally their loved ones.
But the good thing is that it's never too late. You can find stories of people who have had the most harrowing of experiences, going right into the gutter (often literally); yet, eventually, they did find out how to stop drinking alcohol and now they are completely free of that prison.
How did these people do that? Well, each one has his own story. However, there are proven ways that help you tremendously. Because, you can't do this by yourself. If you are addicted to alcohol, you will need help. One thing to remember is that there are a number of organizations to deal with such problems, from official government organizations, to charitable ones such as The Samaritans.
Of the self-help tools available, there are books available in the library, and self-hypnosis CDs and downloadable MP3s (by reputable hypnotherapists). Other routes include getting help from the medical profession (e.g. CBT), and from complementary therapists. The more avenues you experiment with, the greater the chance of your success, because they all work together to make it more powerful.
By combining professional help, self help, support from friends and family, and help from expert organizations, you can overcome this.
And it's power that you want: Aren't you tired of being the slave to alcohol?
If you have mornings where you forget what you did the night before, it is time to take a serious look at your drinking habits.
Alcohol addiction could mean that you drink every day; or that you drink to excess every week; or that you feel you can't cope without alcohol. You don't have to be permanently drunk to be addicted.
Consider the effects that your drinking has at the moment. If you can honestly say that you hardly ever get drunk, you never do something you regret the next day, and you can cope without alcohol, then relax - you are out of the danger zone. But if your answer to any of these questions is "yes," then you could be on a slippery slope.
Alcohol addiction creeps up on people without warning. They believe that they have all the control, and feel, "It could never happen to me!" But, one day, they wake up realizing that they are out of control. The alcohol has taken over.
They think it's too late. They spiral into lack of self-respect, hurting their body, then their mind and spirit, and finally their loved ones.
But the good thing is that it's never too late. You can find stories of people who have had the most harrowing of experiences, going right into the gutter (often literally); yet, eventually, they did find out how to stop drinking alcohol and now they are completely free of that prison.
How did these people do that? Well, each one has his own story. However, there are proven ways that help you tremendously. Because, you can't do this by yourself. If you are addicted to alcohol, you will need help. One thing to remember is that there are a number of organizations to deal with such problems, from official government organizations, to charitable ones such as The Samaritans.
Of the self-help tools available, there are books available in the library, and self-hypnosis CDs and downloadable MP3s (by reputable hypnotherapists). Other routes include getting help from the medical profession (e.g. CBT), and from complementary therapists. The more avenues you experiment with, the greater the chance of your success, because they all work together to make it more powerful.
By combining professional help, self help, support from friends and family, and help from expert organizations, you can overcome this.
And it's power that you want: Aren't you tired of being the slave to alcohol?
Saturday, 18 December 2010
Adultery as Sexual Addiction: Should You Stay Married?
I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." One affair, "I Can't Say NO!" is characterized by addictive tendencies. Infidelity (as well as pornography, strip clubs, online chatting, compulsive masturbation, etc.) may be a part of the sexual addiction.
Often the spouse or partner of a sexually addicted person intuitively knows of the addiction and the struggle his/her partner has with the behavior.
The partner often "feels for" his/her partner and is in a great quandary about staying in the marriage or leaving the marriage.
If you are a person facing this dilemma or know of someone who is, here are some pointed questions to help move more quickly through the decision making process:
1. Do you really want to save the marriage or are you just plain worn out? Does it seem that it would be much easier to just put up and tolerate the crazy kind of behavior you bump into with him? Are you emotionally fried and think of confronting him with your feelings and thoughts of ending the marriage as jumping into more emotional turmoil?
2. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you think you should hang in there for religious, moral or other “should” reasons? Most spouses who partner with those who can’t say no are very conscientious people. Is that you? Do you want to do the right thing? Are you willing to continue feeling the humiliation and facing the dangers because you believe you should stay in the marriage? Do convictions rather than practical and personal concerns dictate your decisions?
3. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you believe you should stay to protect the children? Do you think you are the only spouse who can care for the children? (You may be.) Or maybe your spouse cares deeply for the children and is a good parent. (That may be also.) Do you think that ending the marriage would make life immeasurably worse for your children? Do you fear for their welfare if you confront his behavior?
4. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see absolutely no way out and are resigned to this marriage? You may experience a powerful pervasive feeling of being stuck. You may believe that you have tried everything and that it is in the best interest of everyone to stay where you are. Couple your weariness with your sense of being stuck and you may tolerate a great deal of disappointment and pain for the sake of the marriage.
5. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see yourself as incapable of getting out? Your self-esteem may be at rock bottom. You may think of yourself as incapable of starting over, incapable of starting a new relationship, incapable of making the transition to a new life and incapable of making decisions on your own. It is not unusual for the spouse of someone who can’t say no to lose her sense of dignity and self-respect as he attempts to control, intimidate and dictate.
6. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you need to protect him? Do you see beyond what is there to him basic emptiness and fear? It’s there and you know it? Perhaps you fear what might happen to him if you do indeed leave? Will he be able to cope? What destructive path might he take next? So you hang in there, aware of his underlying pain and hope some day it will be addressed.
7. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you live in the fear that if you talk about leaving you will face danger? Perhaps you might face violence? You might face the emotional game playing at a new level of intensity? Does it seem wiser to hold back, not confront, not move toward change for fear of what he might say or do? Do you sometimes feel frozen with fear?
8. Do you really want to save the marriage or have you given no thought to how you might start over? This is a little different than the fear of starting over. Perhaps your life has been so wrapped around his or the care of your children that you have given little, if any, thought to you. Have you thought of your desires, your skills, your dreams, your hopes and your future apart from him? Or, apart from your children?
Take some time to seriously and thoughtfully address these questions. Once you do, you may experience a new found freedom to act and move in new ways.
Often the spouse or partner of a sexually addicted person intuitively knows of the addiction and the struggle his/her partner has with the behavior.
The partner often "feels for" his/her partner and is in a great quandary about staying in the marriage or leaving the marriage.
If you are a person facing this dilemma or know of someone who is, here are some pointed questions to help move more quickly through the decision making process:
1. Do you really want to save the marriage or are you just plain worn out? Does it seem that it would be much easier to just put up and tolerate the crazy kind of behavior you bump into with him? Are you emotionally fried and think of confronting him with your feelings and thoughts of ending the marriage as jumping into more emotional turmoil?
2. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you think you should hang in there for religious, moral or other “should” reasons? Most spouses who partner with those who can’t say no are very conscientious people. Is that you? Do you want to do the right thing? Are you willing to continue feeling the humiliation and facing the dangers because you believe you should stay in the marriage? Do convictions rather than practical and personal concerns dictate your decisions?
3. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you believe you should stay to protect the children? Do you think you are the only spouse who can care for the children? (You may be.) Or maybe your spouse cares deeply for the children and is a good parent. (That may be also.) Do you think that ending the marriage would make life immeasurably worse for your children? Do you fear for their welfare if you confront his behavior?
4. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see absolutely no way out and are resigned to this marriage? You may experience a powerful pervasive feeling of being stuck. You may believe that you have tried everything and that it is in the best interest of everyone to stay where you are. Couple your weariness with your sense of being stuck and you may tolerate a great deal of disappointment and pain for the sake of the marriage.
5. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see yourself as incapable of getting out? Your self-esteem may be at rock bottom. You may think of yourself as incapable of starting over, incapable of starting a new relationship, incapable of making the transition to a new life and incapable of making decisions on your own. It is not unusual for the spouse of someone who can’t say no to lose her sense of dignity and self-respect as he attempts to control, intimidate and dictate.
6. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you need to protect him? Do you see beyond what is there to him basic emptiness and fear? It’s there and you know it? Perhaps you fear what might happen to him if you do indeed leave? Will he be able to cope? What destructive path might he take next? So you hang in there, aware of his underlying pain and hope some day it will be addressed.
7. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you live in the fear that if you talk about leaving you will face danger? Perhaps you might face violence? You might face the emotional game playing at a new level of intensity? Does it seem wiser to hold back, not confront, not move toward change for fear of what he might say or do? Do you sometimes feel frozen with fear?
8. Do you really want to save the marriage or have you given no thought to how you might start over? This is a little different than the fear of starting over. Perhaps your life has been so wrapped around his or the care of your children that you have given little, if any, thought to you. Have you thought of your desires, your skills, your dreams, your hopes and your future apart from him? Or, apart from your children?
Take some time to seriously and thoughtfully address these questions. Once you do, you may experience a new found freedom to act and move in new ways.
Friday, 17 December 2010
Addiction Treatment Is A Choice
People become victims of substance abuse for different and often inscrutable reason. But whatever these reasons are, it is undeniable that this problem wrecks havoc in the lives of its victims and the society. It is proven that there is a connection between the increasing crime rate and substance use. Other than being perpetrators of crimes, people under the influence of substances damage their own health. Cases of drug overdose, alcohol-driven accidents, and infections are common in emergency rooms, hospitals, and sadly, even morgues. But there is still hope for the family, friends, and the addicted individuals. Different addiction treatment programs are launched yearly by the government and other civilian organizations in hopes of promoting a healthier and peaceful society.
But addiction treatment is a delicate issue. Substance dependents take a long time before accepting that they have a problem. Denial often delays seeking for treatment which often results in growing severity in the dependency. Even family and friends ignore warning signs of drug abuse or alcoholism in their loved ones because they simply can't accept that the problem exists. Dependents and their families often think that they can solve or stop the habit by themselves. However, substance dependency is not just an excessive physical craving; it is also a psychological problem. Without professional help, the chances of recovery and avoiding relapse are very low to none.
Admittedly, there is no permanent cure for addiction. Recovery and treatment are continuos and life-long processes. But there are several ways to considerably lighten the burden. Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and community organizations with treatment programs guide dependents to recovery. In joining these groups, dependents get the chance to relate and share experiences with persons battling the same problem. These groups are also facilitated by people who are experts in substance abuse counseling. A common practice in these groups is the surrender of the dependents to Higher Powers which guide them through the process. Dependents who undergo this form of recovery describe it as deeply spiritual and life-changing.
If surrendering oneself to another is not the dependent's cup of tea, there is another treatment program that banks on individual power. The SMART Recovery addiction treatment rejects the Higher Power but instead urges individuals to find within themselves the strength to overcome their problem. The treatment is abstinence-based - the individual has the competency to choose a better life over the substance he is addicted to.
No matter what form of addiction treatment a dependent follows, it is important to emphasize that no one becomes sober overnight. It is also important to stress that relapse is still a strong possibility. Substance abuse programs are only there to help, not to cure. Having a better life is a choice dependents have to make for themselves.
But addiction treatment is a delicate issue. Substance dependents take a long time before accepting that they have a problem. Denial often delays seeking for treatment which often results in growing severity in the dependency. Even family and friends ignore warning signs of drug abuse or alcoholism in their loved ones because they simply can't accept that the problem exists. Dependents and their families often think that they can solve or stop the habit by themselves. However, substance dependency is not just an excessive physical craving; it is also a psychological problem. Without professional help, the chances of recovery and avoiding relapse are very low to none.
Admittedly, there is no permanent cure for addiction. Recovery and treatment are continuos and life-long processes. But there are several ways to considerably lighten the burden. Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and community organizations with treatment programs guide dependents to recovery. In joining these groups, dependents get the chance to relate and share experiences with persons battling the same problem. These groups are also facilitated by people who are experts in substance abuse counseling. A common practice in these groups is the surrender of the dependents to Higher Powers which guide them through the process. Dependents who undergo this form of recovery describe it as deeply spiritual and life-changing.
If surrendering oneself to another is not the dependent's cup of tea, there is another treatment program that banks on individual power. The SMART Recovery addiction treatment rejects the Higher Power but instead urges individuals to find within themselves the strength to overcome their problem. The treatment is abstinence-based - the individual has the competency to choose a better life over the substance he is addicted to.
No matter what form of addiction treatment a dependent follows, it is important to emphasize that no one becomes sober overnight. It is also important to stress that relapse is still a strong possibility. Substance abuse programs are only there to help, not to cure. Having a better life is a choice dependents have to make for themselves.
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Addiction Treatment Centers Using Experiential Therapies
Life is experience. Substance dependence overtakes a person’s ability to make her own decisions to experience life, and life is no longer actively participated in. Therefore, in overcoming addiction, it is vital to learn to re-experience life. This lesson helps a treatment center resident reintegrate into the world after therapy is through. Experiential therapy is this bridge to leaving a life of substance dependency and commencing a life of health, both physical and mental. Experiential therapy is a necessary component in the steps towards a complete therapy. In addition to counseling and more traditional therapies, experiential is the door to the world – it forces the patient to test herself, to get up when she falls, to learn that giving up is not an option. This is a vital lesson to learn when overcoming addiction, as when problems arise after therapy, the former patient will remember that there are other means of dealing with problems than turning back to addiction.
Experiential therapy includes many various forms, and can be divided into two main categories: outdoor experiential therapy and indoor experiential therapy. Both aim at physical and mental challenges in order to succeed. Equine therapy, which falls within the category of outdoor experiential therapy, is worth reviewing on its own due to its uniqueness and successful results. Research supports the use of experiential therapy, as motivation increases and social integration is easier through the experience of such therapy.
The great outdoors is well known for its healing abilities, and exercise in itself releases the same good-feeling endorphins as a high does. There we have it: the high that is healthy. Outdoor experiential therapy utilizes nature to help residents work through their problems and free themselves from dependency through the physical challenges offered in nature. Activities can include winter sports like snowshoeing, and summer sports like hiking. More radical activities, like a heli-experience, are also possible. The heli-experience takes people to literally previously unknown heights. In opening new worlds, these experiences reconnect residences to their world, which is so important to eventually helping them reconnect with the people who live in this world. While outdoor activities are beneficial for the social aspect of interacting with other residents, their main achievement is to make the resident introspect and put a perspective on the resident’s own life in the context of the towering natural world.
Indoor experiential therapy can be based on an indoor ropes and challenge course. While also containing the aspect of physical challenge, indoor experiential therapy is a greater internal challenge. The resident must mentally prepare herself for the challenges that come at such heights. Also, trust is an invaluable lesson learned in indoor therapy. Partners rely on each other to succeed in these activities, thus learning to communicate effectively and learning to trust another. This can be an especially difficult aspect of healing from addiction, as for so many, trust is not a part of a life of addiction. Learning to rebuild personal self-confidence and trust in others is vital for a successful recovery from substance dependence. Reintegrating into society after therapy is one of the most difficult aspects of recovery, so having a treatment program that rebuilds the elements of trust and confidence, needed for a successful life in our society, is especially beneficial.
Equine therapy, a certain highlight of the outdoor experiential therapy, combines aspects used both in outdoor and indoor therapy. From the aspect of the outdoors, equine therapy offers the chance to be with, in and beyond nature, with a living being that sees us only for who we are. Horses are extremely intelligent creatures, having a special history with the human race. So vital in the development of the modern world, horses were the first vehicles for transporting messengers and mail efficiently, as the Pony Express reminds us, and were man’s trusted guides in exploration and on battlefields. And, while a horse does not judge mankind, it certainly can read a character and will cleverly use a human’s personality to its advantage. Trust is an essential element of equine therapy, and it is a relationship with a creature that will not lie about its feelings. When a genuine friendship is formed between horse and man, it is a lifelong bond. Equine therapy combines the power of nature and a physical challenge with the need to build a trusting relationship with a fellow living creature and increase self-confidence. In this manner, equine therapy is especially helpful for residents of treatment centers, as it combines all elements so beneficial to recovery in one activity.
Experiential therapy teaches lessons of confidence in the self as well as in others, and teaches facing challenges and overcoming them. Motivation is of prime importance in overcoming an addiction, and what better place to find motivation than where we naturally seek it: in situations that encourage us to aim higher than we imagine is possible. Through the motivation that appears in the physical activities, treatment center residents learn to carry it over to their own lives, and find the necessary motivation to deal with personal issues. Simultaneously building confidence and trust in themselves and others only strengthens the desire for motivation. The added health benefits of partaking in physical exercise show themselves both on the bodies and minds of patients. Getting the body into shape helps stabilize the mind, and helps lead a generally healthier life. There is never an easy cure to addiction, and many paths and steps must be followed to guide to a better life. The step of experiential therapy is one of the most rewarding steps in treatment, as the treatment resident is aware first-hand of its results. This personal feeling of achievement in overcoming challenges makes great headway in the recovery process from addiction.
Experiential therapy includes many various forms, and can be divided into two main categories: outdoor experiential therapy and indoor experiential therapy. Both aim at physical and mental challenges in order to succeed. Equine therapy, which falls within the category of outdoor experiential therapy, is worth reviewing on its own due to its uniqueness and successful results. Research supports the use of experiential therapy, as motivation increases and social integration is easier through the experience of such therapy.
The great outdoors is well known for its healing abilities, and exercise in itself releases the same good-feeling endorphins as a high does. There we have it: the high that is healthy. Outdoor experiential therapy utilizes nature to help residents work through their problems and free themselves from dependency through the physical challenges offered in nature. Activities can include winter sports like snowshoeing, and summer sports like hiking. More radical activities, like a heli-experience, are also possible. The heli-experience takes people to literally previously unknown heights. In opening new worlds, these experiences reconnect residences to their world, which is so important to eventually helping them reconnect with the people who live in this world. While outdoor activities are beneficial for the social aspect of interacting with other residents, their main achievement is to make the resident introspect and put a perspective on the resident’s own life in the context of the towering natural world.
Indoor experiential therapy can be based on an indoor ropes and challenge course. While also containing the aspect of physical challenge, indoor experiential therapy is a greater internal challenge. The resident must mentally prepare herself for the challenges that come at such heights. Also, trust is an invaluable lesson learned in indoor therapy. Partners rely on each other to succeed in these activities, thus learning to communicate effectively and learning to trust another. This can be an especially difficult aspect of healing from addiction, as for so many, trust is not a part of a life of addiction. Learning to rebuild personal self-confidence and trust in others is vital for a successful recovery from substance dependence. Reintegrating into society after therapy is one of the most difficult aspects of recovery, so having a treatment program that rebuilds the elements of trust and confidence, needed for a successful life in our society, is especially beneficial.
Equine therapy, a certain highlight of the outdoor experiential therapy, combines aspects used both in outdoor and indoor therapy. From the aspect of the outdoors, equine therapy offers the chance to be with, in and beyond nature, with a living being that sees us only for who we are. Horses are extremely intelligent creatures, having a special history with the human race. So vital in the development of the modern world, horses were the first vehicles for transporting messengers and mail efficiently, as the Pony Express reminds us, and were man’s trusted guides in exploration and on battlefields. And, while a horse does not judge mankind, it certainly can read a character and will cleverly use a human’s personality to its advantage. Trust is an essential element of equine therapy, and it is a relationship with a creature that will not lie about its feelings. When a genuine friendship is formed between horse and man, it is a lifelong bond. Equine therapy combines the power of nature and a physical challenge with the need to build a trusting relationship with a fellow living creature and increase self-confidence. In this manner, equine therapy is especially helpful for residents of treatment centers, as it combines all elements so beneficial to recovery in one activity.
Experiential therapy teaches lessons of confidence in the self as well as in others, and teaches facing challenges and overcoming them. Motivation is of prime importance in overcoming an addiction, and what better place to find motivation than where we naturally seek it: in situations that encourage us to aim higher than we imagine is possible. Through the motivation that appears in the physical activities, treatment center residents learn to carry it over to their own lives, and find the necessary motivation to deal with personal issues. Simultaneously building confidence and trust in themselves and others only strengthens the desire for motivation. The added health benefits of partaking in physical exercise show themselves both on the bodies and minds of patients. Getting the body into shape helps stabilize the mind, and helps lead a generally healthier life. There is never an easy cure to addiction, and many paths and steps must be followed to guide to a better life. The step of experiential therapy is one of the most rewarding steps in treatment, as the treatment resident is aware first-hand of its results. This personal feeling of achievement in overcoming challenges makes great headway in the recovery process from addiction.
Addiction Treatment Centers for Substance Abuse
There are many different types of addiction treatment or detox centers and each of them will have a different function and role in the detox process. There will usually be a medical doctor present for each detox procedure that takes place in the detox center. A medial staff is there to assist the addict in rapidly detoxing from the substance of abuse and to make the process as pain free as possible. When a person enters a detox center they are usually doing so under the advice of their doctor. Most detox centers will only take a patient that has been referred by a medical doctor.
An addiction treatment center is available for a variety of substance abuse problems. These problems can include alcohol addiction, narcotic abuse, and chemical dependency.
Many times a person will enter a detox center and have multiple addictions that need to be dealt with. In these circumstances a detox center will usually deal with all of the addictions so that the person can cleanse their body of all toxic substances at one time.
The more addiction that a person has when they enter a detox center the longer it will take for the substance of abuse to be flushed from the body and the more counseling and therapy a person will need once the detox center has helped them through the withdrawal of their addiction.
The Internet is a great resource for finding the best addiction treatment centers. In your search, you should focus on finding those centers with high success rates for treatment completion and long-term drug freedom. It's also important to find addiction treatment centers that have 24-hour supervision over their members. Remember: You want your loved ones to have their freedom, but drug addicts have typically not build up the self-control that's necessary to quit cold turkey.
An addiction treatment center is available for a variety of substance abuse problems. These problems can include alcohol addiction, narcotic abuse, and chemical dependency.
Many times a person will enter a detox center and have multiple addictions that need to be dealt with. In these circumstances a detox center will usually deal with all of the addictions so that the person can cleanse their body of all toxic substances at one time.
The more addiction that a person has when they enter a detox center the longer it will take for the substance of abuse to be flushed from the body and the more counseling and therapy a person will need once the detox center has helped them through the withdrawal of their addiction.
The Internet is a great resource for finding the best addiction treatment centers. In your search, you should focus on finding those centers with high success rates for treatment completion and long-term drug freedom. It's also important to find addiction treatment centers that have 24-hour supervision over their members. Remember: You want your loved ones to have their freedom, but drug addicts have typically not build up the self-control that's necessary to quit cold turkey.
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Addiction to Worry
Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. “What if I never get well?” “What if my husband gets sick?” “What if I run out of money?” (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). “What if my son gets into drugs?” “What if my kids don’t get into good colleges?” “What if someone breaks into the house?”
Her worry was not only causing her depression, but was also contributing to her illness, if not actually causing it. Her worry caused so much stress in her body that her immune system could not do its job of keeping her well. Yet even the awareness that her worry was causing her depression and possibly even her illness did not stop Carole from worrying. She was addicted to it. She was unconsciously addicted to the sense of control that worry gave her.
I understood this well because I come from a long line of worriers. My grandmother’s whole life was about worrying. She lived with us as I was growing up and I don’t remember ever seeing her without a look of worry on her face. Same with my mother – constant worry. Of course, I picked up on it and also became a worrier. However, unlike my mother and grandmother, who worried daily until the day they died, I decided I didn’t want to live that way. The turning point came for me the day my husband and I were going to the beach and I started to worry that the house would burn down and my children would die. I became so upset from the worry that we had to turn around and come home. I knew then that I had to do something about it.
As I started to examine the cause of worry, I realized that worriers believe that worry will stop bad things from happening. My mother worried her whole life and none of the bad things she worried about ever happened. She concluded that nothing bad happened because she worried! She really believed that she could control things with her worry. My father, however, never worried about anything, and nothing bad ever happened to him either. My mother believed that nothing bad happened to my father because of her worry! She really believed until the day she died (from heart problems that may have been due to her constant worry) that if she stopped worrying, everything would fall apart. My father is still alive at 92, even without her worrying about him!
It is not easy to stop worrying when you have been practicing worrying for most of your life. In order for me to stop worrying, I needed to recognize that the belief that worry has control over outcomes is a complete illusion. I needed to see that, not only is worry a waste of time, but that it can have grave negative consequences on health and well-being. Once I understood this, I was able to notice the stomach clenching that occurred whenever I worried and stop the thought that was causing the stress.
Carole is in the process of learning this. She sees that her worry makes her feel very anxious and depressed. She sees that when she doesn’t worry, she is not nearly as fatigued as when she allows her addiction to worry to take over. She sees that when she stays in the moment rather than projecting into the future, she feels much better. The key for Carole in stopping worrying is in accepting that worry does not give her control.
Giving up the illusion of control that worry gives us not easy for anyone who worries. Yet there is an interesting paradox regarding worry. I have found that when I am in the present moment, I have a much better chance of making choices that support my highest good than when I’m stuck thinking about the future. Rather than giving us control, worry prevents us from being present enough to make loving choices for ourselves and others. Worrying actually ends up giving us less control rather than more!
Her worry was not only causing her depression, but was also contributing to her illness, if not actually causing it. Her worry caused so much stress in her body that her immune system could not do its job of keeping her well. Yet even the awareness that her worry was causing her depression and possibly even her illness did not stop Carole from worrying. She was addicted to it. She was unconsciously addicted to the sense of control that worry gave her.
I understood this well because I come from a long line of worriers. My grandmother’s whole life was about worrying. She lived with us as I was growing up and I don’t remember ever seeing her without a look of worry on her face. Same with my mother – constant worry. Of course, I picked up on it and also became a worrier. However, unlike my mother and grandmother, who worried daily until the day they died, I decided I didn’t want to live that way. The turning point came for me the day my husband and I were going to the beach and I started to worry that the house would burn down and my children would die. I became so upset from the worry that we had to turn around and come home. I knew then that I had to do something about it.
As I started to examine the cause of worry, I realized that worriers believe that worry will stop bad things from happening. My mother worried her whole life and none of the bad things she worried about ever happened. She concluded that nothing bad happened because she worried! She really believed that she could control things with her worry. My father, however, never worried about anything, and nothing bad ever happened to him either. My mother believed that nothing bad happened to my father because of her worry! She really believed until the day she died (from heart problems that may have been due to her constant worry) that if she stopped worrying, everything would fall apart. My father is still alive at 92, even without her worrying about him!
It is not easy to stop worrying when you have been practicing worrying for most of your life. In order for me to stop worrying, I needed to recognize that the belief that worry has control over outcomes is a complete illusion. I needed to see that, not only is worry a waste of time, but that it can have grave negative consequences on health and well-being. Once I understood this, I was able to notice the stomach clenching that occurred whenever I worried and stop the thought that was causing the stress.
Carole is in the process of learning this. She sees that her worry makes her feel very anxious and depressed. She sees that when she doesn’t worry, she is not nearly as fatigued as when she allows her addiction to worry to take over. She sees that when she stays in the moment rather than projecting into the future, she feels much better. The key for Carole in stopping worrying is in accepting that worry does not give her control.
Giving up the illusion of control that worry gives us not easy for anyone who worries. Yet there is an interesting paradox regarding worry. I have found that when I am in the present moment, I have a much better chance of making choices that support my highest good than when I’m stuck thinking about the future. Rather than giving us control, worry prevents us from being present enough to make loving choices for ourselves and others. Worrying actually ends up giving us less control rather than more!
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